Be the Next Bachelorette

Casting Director for The Bachelorette, will you accept this rose?  Let's look for love together.  I want to be the next Bachelorette!

Come on, it will be ratings gold.  As much as I really like Ali and Emily, I don't think the "average" woman can relate.  Of course guys are going to fall for gorgeous blondes.  And how could you not fall in love canoeing through waterfalls and exploring castles?

My season will be different.  First, the bombshell will not be me, but the fact that the Bachelorette is in a wheelchair.  Yes, those awkward introductions can get even more awkward.  Some of the guys might just walk off the show.  Perhaps others will stay on to gain publicity, but say mean stuff about me during their individual interviews.  But can you imagine how the audience would react if the girl in the wheelchair got Bentley-ed?  They'd rally.

Of course, the dates wouldn't be as exciting.  No jumping out of helicopters for me.  We'd play Uno and Ticket to Ride.  If they gave me nerds, I suppose we could crack open Catan.  I would like to travel as they do on the show, but instead of exotic beaches, we'd need to go to metropolitan destinations.  Athens would be awesome.  Since hosting the Paralympics, I hear that area of Greece is now super-accessible.  Toward the end, I guess I could assent to the beach; the guys just need time to prove I wouldn't get dropped.

Because of the circumstances, though, I feel like if I did find love on the show that it would last.  It would be real.  We'd have to engage in activities like problem-solving, and there would be no way (at least for me) to hide my faults.  People who watch could relate, or even think I'm worse-off then they are.  And so when I found love, it would give a message of hope rather than fantasy.  Prove true love is real.  That's something I'd be okay with being the poster child for...