Calling Ted Turner... I love the ocean and boating, and would love to see the America's Cup. That's pretty impossible unless you're a crewman or watching on TV, so I'll amend my wish to be sailing on one of our vessels before or after the race. Sure, I might roll overboard. Yeah, I'll probably need to be strapped down. But what an awesome ride!
P.S. Ted, the salmon in your restaurants is the best! Cool straws, too.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Saturday, October 6, 2012
Ride in a Driverless Car
You know how excited people get when they see the GoogleMaps car out and about? Well, I would be super excited if I could ride in one!
Transportation is difficult for many people with disabilities. In addition to physical conditions making it impossible for some to drive (i.e., blindness), others lack the financial resources to modify vehicles or pay a chauffeur. My back hurts too much to entrust it to careless paratransit drivers, and even when I could ride paratransit, it often took two hours to travel fourteen miles.
I see driverless cars as the solution to many of these difficulties. The ease of rolling in, typing in an address, and going is awe-inspiring. It would mean freedom. I could meet friends for drinks, see the doctor regularly, and actually go grocery shopping.
Go technology!
Transportation is difficult for many people with disabilities. In addition to physical conditions making it impossible for some to drive (i.e., blindness), others lack the financial resources to modify vehicles or pay a chauffeur. My back hurts too much to entrust it to careless paratransit drivers, and even when I could ride paratransit, it often took two hours to travel fourteen miles.
I see driverless cars as the solution to many of these difficulties. The ease of rolling in, typing in an address, and going is awe-inspiring. It would mean freedom. I could meet friends for drinks, see the doctor regularly, and actually go grocery shopping.
Go technology!
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Get a Make-up Consultation from Carmindy
I've loved playing with make-up since I was little. My parents still tease me about the clown red lips I sported when I was two. However, as I've gotten older, it's harder for me to reach areas of my face and grip certain tools. Unfortunately, the people who I ask for help usually leave me looking like a clown...
I watch What Not to Wear regularly, and like how Carmindy explains why she chooses the tools and products she does and then demonstrates proper application. I feel like this type of consultation would provide the needed instruction my helpers lack. Plus, she has her own line of make-up which means more stuff to play with!
On a deeper note, I also like that Carmindy tries to point out each woman's best features. I could benefit from this, too. Even if my make-up looks a bit off, I could fall back on my beautiful "X" and "Y," regardless.
I watch What Not to Wear regularly, and like how Carmindy explains why she chooses the tools and products she does and then demonstrates proper application. I feel like this type of consultation would provide the needed instruction my helpers lack. Plus, she has her own line of make-up which means more stuff to play with!
On a deeper note, I also like that Carmindy tries to point out each woman's best features. I could benefit from this, too. Even if my make-up looks a bit off, I could fall back on my beautiful "X" and "Y," regardless.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Watch a Football Game with Shannon Sharpe
Indiana used to be the basketball capitol, but until Peyton Manning left the Colts there was quite a period of football mania here. (Whether this continues with a much-improved Pacers team and an almost entirely new Colts organizations remains to be seen.) Each Sunday we used to stop at Taco Bell on the way home from church and eat nachos while watching the game.
Before Mom had the opportunity to yell about "field golds" or ask what just happened, we would watch The NFL Today. Though the analysts' antics were pretty funny, none of them were particularly pro-Colts. Except Shannon Sharpe. He always seemed supportive of Indy's team.
So, as I watched the game today and realized that I've never been to Lucas Oil Stadium. Maybe Shann-on could help me get there!
Before Mom had the opportunity to yell about "field golds" or ask what just happened, we would watch The NFL Today. Though the analysts' antics were pretty funny, none of them were particularly pro-Colts. Except Shannon Sharpe. He always seemed supportive of Indy's team.
So, as I watched the game today and realized that I've never been to Lucas Oil Stadium. Maybe Shann-on could help me get there!
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Read the Complete Works of Edgar Allan Poe
This one seems easily do-able; I already own them. Remember when Border's used to sell huge tomes for $4.99 a pop? Well, if I horde one thing, it's books, and those deals were too good to pass up. The only problem was I never got around to reading them all.
Anyway, I have a Facebook friend who has committed to reading one chapter of the Bible each day. In fact, several friends have undertaken this feat. As weird as I sometimes feel having in this Judeo-Christian society having never actually read the Bible (aside from occasionally being a lector at Mass (yeah, I'm very familiar with "reading from the book of the Prophet Isaiah")), it just doesn't appeal. I decided that since October is coming up, reading something Halloween-y would be an appropriate plan.
I can become more well-read and take a book off the unread pile. Killing two ravens with one stone?
Anyway, I have a Facebook friend who has committed to reading one chapter of the Bible each day. In fact, several friends have undertaken this feat. As weird as I sometimes feel having in this Judeo-Christian society having never actually read the Bible (aside from occasionally being a lector at Mass (yeah, I'm very familiar with "reading from the book of the Prophet Isaiah")), it just doesn't appeal. I decided that since October is coming up, reading something Halloween-y would be an appropriate plan.
I can become more well-read and take a book off the unread pile. Killing two ravens with one stone?
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Find My Mark Antony
No, not as far as love interests go; Mark Antony committed adultery and slept around a lot. Rather, I've always wanted to be Cleopatra for Halloween, and it seems like more of a couples idea. I have a penchant for kohl-rimmed eyes and brilliant leadership. I also like the idea of bewitching men with mysticism and intellect. If only I could pull it off...
On a side note, it's said Cleopatra - to show off her wealth - dissolved a huge pearl in vinegar and drank it. Cool party trick...
On a side note, it's said Cleopatra - to show off her wealth - dissolved a huge pearl in vinegar and drank it. Cool party trick...
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Be Thrown a Surprise Party
Next week is my 28th birthday, but I don't think I will be doing anything to celebrate. Now that we're no longer in school, my friends are spread far and wide. Even those who live in the same state need to get up the next morning for work. So, no festivities this year. I'm just too hesitant to invite people, as I hate making them feel obligated. A surprise party circumvents these problems. ;-)
Friday, July 20, 2012
Get 101 Subscribers to this Blog
I apologize for writing so infrequently this month, but I am admittedly discouraged that no one has commented or subscribed. I understand that good content and consistency are important for readership, but it's so discouraging to have no feedback whatsoever. Anyway, say hi. Tell me about your dream activities (and by that, I don't mean activities that take place in your dreams...).
Monday, July 9, 2012
Spend a Week at Namale
The other day, Shallow Hal was on TV, and given that not much else was, I decided to watch it. As soon as I saw the Tony Robbins cameo, I was reminded of how my friend Karen and I used to talk about going to Namale. Why did I need to be reminded? When I saw that there were no prices listed on the website, I knew it was clearly out of our price range.
Namale is this luxury resort in Fiji, with rooms opening right on the water. The food looks delish, and there's a cocktail hour. Apparently the spa is also great, but the idea of a massage freaks me out so I doubt I'd be hanging out much there.
Anyway, the closest I've been to the Pacific was LA; I'd love to actually get to swim in it. Namale's location on the bay probably means waters calm enough not to capsize me. They even offer an excursion to see dolphins!
I'd want to take my old friend of twenty years, Karen, who I haven't seen in at least five. We met in 1993 at a camp for kids on respiratory support (i.e., ventilators and/or traches) and really hit it off. For a few years, we've been wanting to do some sort of reunion, and where better than the island paradise owned by Karen's favorite inspirational guru?
Namale is this luxury resort in Fiji, with rooms opening right on the water. The food looks delish, and there's a cocktail hour. Apparently the spa is also great, but the idea of a massage freaks me out so I doubt I'd be hanging out much there.
Anyway, the closest I've been to the Pacific was LA; I'd love to actually get to swim in it. Namale's location on the bay probably means waters calm enough not to capsize me. They even offer an excursion to see dolphins!
I'd want to take my old friend of twenty years, Karen, who I haven't seen in at least five. We met in 1993 at a camp for kids on respiratory support (i.e., ventilators and/or traches) and really hit it off. For a few years, we've been wanting to do some sort of reunion, and where better than the island paradise owned by Karen's favorite inspirational guru?
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Have a Skype Concert with Tom Chapin
I'm sure you know his brother, Harry Chapin, but Tom Chapin is better known to kids. In my youth, road trips between Indiana and New York were spent belting out songs like Billy the Squid and Johnny Glockenspiel. When we found out Tom Chapin played each year at the Children's Museum, we went... each year. Eventually, we owned every tape.
Except one, which was a recording for adults. It was called Join the Jubilee. We never played it, frustrated Chapin had sold out to the adult crowd. But, a decade or so later, on a trip to Tennessee, we decided to give the tape a go. It was amazing. From Dueling Banjos played on different instruments to Seven Daffodils, I love the tape. I tried to but it on iTunes to no avail.
After searching for more of Tom Chapin's adult recordings, I discovered he offers private Skype concerts. How cool is that?!
Except one, which was a recording for adults. It was called Join the Jubilee. We never played it, frustrated Chapin had sold out to the adult crowd. But, a decade or so later, on a trip to Tennessee, we decided to give the tape a go. It was amazing. From Dueling Banjos played on different instruments to Seven Daffodils, I love the tape. I tried to but it on iTunes to no avail.
After searching for more of Tom Chapin's adult recordings, I discovered he offers private Skype concerts. How cool is that?!
Sunday, July 1, 2012
Write a Song with Ryan Seiler
My sister is obsessed with YouTube, and is a loyal fan of Luke Conard and his friends. Although I'm not exactly into wizard rock, the Ministry of Magic has some pretty darn catchy songs. My favorite Ravenclaw would have to be Ryan Seiler. His music is really good, especially the song July. I suspect now that it's the eponymous month, I'll be listening to it a lot more.
Anyway, I like to write, and I think it would be cool to write a song. The problem is that while I can write lyrics out the wazoo, I know nothing about music. I bet if I could collaborate with Ryan, the result would be an awesome ear worm.
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Befriend Condoleezza Rice
Seriously, I think Condi is awesome.
I admire Condoleezza's intellect, tact, and poise in matters of foreign affairs. I think she is definitely a trailblazer and role model for women. It's also cool that she plays the piano and has a signature style. (Pearls over pantsuits any day!)
I would love to learn from Condi what it takes to be such a successful diplomat and serve the country as she did. I'm up for making sausages any day!
I admire Condoleezza's intellect, tact, and poise in matters of foreign affairs. I think she is definitely a trailblazer and role model for women. It's also cool that she plays the piano and has a signature style. (Pearls over pantsuits any day!)
I would love to learn from Condi what it takes to be such a successful diplomat and serve the country as she did. I'm up for making sausages any day!
Monday, June 25, 2012
Fly in a Private Jet
Sorry for the lapse in posts; I have been away at two power (wheelchair) soccer tournaments and had trouble accessing the internet. Over the course of ten days we flew to Tampa, Minneapolis, and back to Indy. AirTran broke my armrest on one flight, and we accidentally left my breathing machine on another. Despite these setbacks, my biggest fear remains getting on and off the plane. I hate transferring into a seat, both because it hurts to sit without support and because the people who do the transfers are incompetent about half the time.
So, I'd like to fly on a private jet, try it out at least once. I want to stay in my chair during the flight, and be able to pull up to a table so I can feed myself peanuts and ginger ale. I could turn and look out the windows. And let's face it guys. A plane with a bed is the only way I'll be joining the mile high club...
So, I'd like to fly on a private jet, try it out at least once. I want to stay in my chair during the flight, and be able to pull up to a table so I can feed myself peanuts and ginger ale. I could turn and look out the windows. And let's face it guys. A plane with a bed is the only way I'll be joining the mile high club...
Monday, June 11, 2012
Hug a Soccer Player
My past four days have been consumed by UEFA's Euro 2012. My sister is a huge soccer fan, so we've been watching every game. (Well, I did lose most of the Russia v. Czech Republic match to a quick trip to the mall.) Anyway, it's made me realize I'd like to hug a soccer player.
If you watch five hours of soccer a day, you see a lot of writhing in agony. Or, writhing in fakery, if England is playing. But if someone is genuinely in pain, I doubt wetting their sock and fogging their knee is going to do a lot of good. After multiple knocks and tumbles, I just want to give some of these guys a hug. (And a Vicodin, but I'm not gonna get involved in the international drug trade.)
I'll admit this wish is tough to accomplish for a few reasons. First, most of these guys get most of their hugs -- among other things -- from models. If not full-fledged models, aspiring models, as in the mysterious "nocturnal incident" attributed to Boateng by commentators. So, my arms aren't as long or gorgeous as those of a six-foot siren. This probably diminishes hug quality. Second, there's the pesky fact that my arm muscles don't really work.
Maybe I need to upgrade to a kiss. That's do-able, and plausible, as people kiss boo-boos. In that case, send Neuer my way. Er ist sehr schoen!
If you watch five hours of soccer a day, you see a lot of writhing in agony. Or, writhing in fakery, if England is playing. But if someone is genuinely in pain, I doubt wetting their sock and fogging their knee is going to do a lot of good. After multiple knocks and tumbles, I just want to give some of these guys a hug. (And a Vicodin, but I'm not gonna get involved in the international drug trade.)
I'll admit this wish is tough to accomplish for a few reasons. First, most of these guys get most of their hugs -- among other things -- from models. If not full-fledged models, aspiring models, as in the mysterious "nocturnal incident" attributed to Boateng by commentators. So, my arms aren't as long or gorgeous as those of a six-foot siren. This probably diminishes hug quality. Second, there's the pesky fact that my arm muscles don't really work.
Maybe I need to upgrade to a kiss. That's do-able, and plausible, as people kiss boo-boos. In that case, send Neuer my way. Er ist sehr schoen!
Saturday, June 9, 2012
Picnic at Funky Bones
So, it occurred to me that many of the activities I've listed lately are kind of high-brow and/or expensive. Of course, I can revel in simple pleasures, too.
A few months ago, I read an awesome John Green novel, The Fault in Our Stars. It's set in Indianapolis, and the main characters have a picnic at IMA landmark Funky Bones. I feel like a pilgrimage is in order, with a plastic cup and champagne toast in honor of Hazel and Augustus.
All I need is a ride.
A few months ago, I read an awesome John Green novel, The Fault in Our Stars. It's set in Indianapolis, and the main characters have a picnic at IMA landmark Funky Bones. I feel like a pilgrimage is in order, with a plastic cup and champagne toast in honor of Hazel and Augustus.
All I need is a ride.
Thursday, June 7, 2012
Swim with Sharks
Okay, so given my previous post, you might think I have a desire to hang out with Robert Herjavec, Kevin O'Leary, Barbara Corcoran, Daymon John, and Mark Cuban. Sure -- any one of them could take me to Le Bernadin. But, higher on my list is hanging out with sharks of the oceanic variety.
When I was little, I was terrified of sharks. I was so certain a shark was going to try to attack me that I read everything I could about them to be prepared. Images of goblin sharks haunted me after countless hours reading and rereading about them in the encyclopedia. I practiced punching should I need to bop the shark on the nose. I even scraped my fist against a piece of my dad's sandpaper to see how bad the shark skin would hurt.
But, there were so many things beyond my control. At a museum exhibit, a test indicated that I sent the same electrical signals as a wounded fish (i.e., prey). Another time, I saw a movie in an omni dome. The preview was for a movie in which a guy going in a shark tank and getting lowered fairly deep into the ocean. Great white sharks came. I watched through a squinted eye. Then a shark bit the guy's oxygen tube. I was so scared I closed my eyes and put my hands over them. Yeah, pretty hard to punch a shark when you can't even look at one. Matters were not helped by the fact that my parents wouldn't buy chain mail or shark repellant.
Over the years, though, fear morphed into fascination. I want to see a shark up close and keep my eyes open. Of course, I want to go all out; I want to go into a tank and see great whites. We know I can attract them!
When I was little, I was terrified of sharks. I was so certain a shark was going to try to attack me that I read everything I could about them to be prepared. Images of goblin sharks haunted me after countless hours reading and rereading about them in the encyclopedia. I practiced punching should I need to bop the shark on the nose. I even scraped my fist against a piece of my dad's sandpaper to see how bad the shark skin would hurt.
But, there were so many things beyond my control. At a museum exhibit, a test indicated that I sent the same electrical signals as a wounded fish (i.e., prey). Another time, I saw a movie in an omni dome. The preview was for a movie in which a guy going in a shark tank and getting lowered fairly deep into the ocean. Great white sharks came. I watched through a squinted eye. Then a shark bit the guy's oxygen tube. I was so scared I closed my eyes and put my hands over them. Yeah, pretty hard to punch a shark when you can't even look at one. Matters were not helped by the fact that my parents wouldn't buy chain mail or shark repellant.
Over the years, though, fear morphed into fascination. I want to see a shark up close and keep my eyes open. Of course, I want to go all out; I want to go into a tank and see great whites. We know I can attract them!
Tuesday, June 5, 2012
Invest
"Invest? Oh yeees, inveeest..." That is, perhaps, my favorite line from one of my favorite movies, Moulin Rouge. Like the Duke, I want to own something. Not a prostitute in my case, but part of a company. Well, a whole company would be better, but a piece of one is a start.
Because of Medicaid and SSI, I'm not really allowed to own stock anymore. I don't think this is fair. I don't want to rob my fellow taxpayers; if I can earn enough money to pay for my care and equipment with my own money, I will. In fact, I would prefer it. But as the current system is arranged, I can only have $500 in my bank account at any given time. How can I start an independent life with that parameter?
Anyway, first I would buy some Apple stock and Coca-Cola stock. You know, supporting the stuff I enjoy... If it goes well and I make some money, then I'll unleash my inner Alex P. Keaton. Rich, I'd run for Congress and change some of those nonsensical rules that are particularly adverse to people with disabilities.
Because of Medicaid and SSI, I'm not really allowed to own stock anymore. I don't think this is fair. I don't want to rob my fellow taxpayers; if I can earn enough money to pay for my care and equipment with my own money, I will. In fact, I would prefer it. But as the current system is arranged, I can only have $500 in my bank account at any given time. How can I start an independent life with that parameter?
Anyway, first I would buy some Apple stock and Coca-Cola stock. You know, supporting the stuff I enjoy... If it goes well and I make some money, then I'll unleash my inner Alex P. Keaton. Rich, I'd run for Congress and change some of those nonsensical rules that are particularly adverse to people with disabilities.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Host the Spelling Bee
I want to be the guy at the Scripps National Spelling Bee who gives out the words, definitions, origins, pronunciations, and sentences. My vocabulary would be so vast. I could use it whilst employing maieutic strategies. After all, I can't waste time with a turnverein.
I'll admit, the current guy is really good. And funny in a dry way. Maybe I'd settle for dinging the wrong answer bell.
I'll admit, the current guy is really good. And funny in a dry way. Maybe I'd settle for dinging the wrong answer bell.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Find My Signature Drink
If you ask anyone who knows me, they'll probably tell you it's Coke. I usually have a can by my side morning, noon, and night. In fact, I haven't had anything else to drink since Sunday when I decided to switch it up with a can of Sunkist. Coke is my life elixir. Seriously. The caffeine constricts my blood vessels, which does something to my lungs, which makes it a lot easier to breathe in cases of life-threatening congestion.
But what I'm talking about is my signature alcoholic beverage. My first drinks in a bar were when I was 20 and my roommates took me to their friend's uncle's bar. I ordered the only two drinks I had heard of, a cosmopolitan and a long island iced tea. As I learned few people had the audacity to card a girl in a wheelchair, I ordered cosmopolitans. They seemed more innocent.
However, as I started going out to functions with friends and could order drinks in the open (at 21), I saw a lot of moms with cosmos. Not cool. Long islands seemed too complicated for my last year at college, and they were always made inconsistently. Not to mention that one of my friends hijacked the drink and acted like a total ass after he drank them. So, I opted for the unfussy rum and Coke.
But, the rum just spoiled by beloved Coke. Especially the knockoff Admiral Nelson rum that my aide accidentally bought instead of Captain Morgan. And, really, rum and Coke is just too innocuous.
I tried scotch for a while. Terrific for getting drunk on, and definitely an attention-getter, but gag-worthy going down the hatch. Especially since I drink with a straw. I went to the Manhattan next. Better flavor, but I broke my femur when, drunk, I asked a drunk friend to help me go to the bathroom. After that, I wasn't really into drinking Manhattans... or anything.
I do love a good Riesling. And I have found a great mixed drink. A local bar offers the Ball & Biscuit Champagne Cocktail, St. Germaine Elderflower Liqueur stirred with The Bitter Truth Orange Bitters and Pierre Delize. It's amazing. But it's also once of their cocktails, not mine, and not something I can order everywhere.
So... the search continues. Bottoms up!
Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Dine at Le Bernardin
I love watching Avec Eric on PBS, and would love to try some of Chef Ripert's creations. Most of the stuff he eats on the show is caught and eaten somewhere in the Caribbean, but I want to go to Le Bernardin. 3 Michelin stars? 4 stars from The New York Times? Oui!
I've checked out the menu, and if I were dining there tonight I'd order the Chef's Tasting Menu with wine pairings:
Time for me to go salivate while I try to choke down Meals on Wheels' latest mystery meat offering...
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Roadtrip Route 66, the PCH, and I-80
I've wanted to do Route 66 for quite a while. Like seeing the Statue of Liberty, it seems like something any true American should do. I want to see the Southwest, and stop at all the local points of interest along the way.
Because time is short and I want to maximize my drive through America, I figure it would be cool to check some more states off my list. Hence, a second road. I-80 makes sense, and I watched a documentary on truck stops the other day, in which I learned there is a gigantic one with amenities including a dentist and barber shop in Iowa. I could stop in for the buffet.
And, might as well do it right and add in the Pacific Coast Highway as long as we're out that way.
Because time is short and I want to maximize my drive through America, I figure it would be cool to check some more states off my list. Hence, a second road. I-80 makes sense, and I watched a documentary on truck stops the other day, in which I learned there is a gigantic one with amenities including a dentist and barber shop in Iowa. I could stop in for the buffet.
And, might as well do it right and add in the Pacific Coast Highway as long as we're out that way.
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
Go to the Met Gala
I want to go to the Met Gala (or, more technically, the Costume Institute Gala). I love the Met, I love NYC, and as far as soirees go, the fancier the better.
My dad is from Long Island, and his sister still lives in the City. When I was little, I remember seeing the Rockettes and Christmas window displays. We also got to go on a special tour of the Federal Reserve, in which I sat at a Board Room table, got to go into the vault and hold a gold bar, and was given a package of thousands of dollars in shredded money. It was awesome!
When I was in college, my aunt took me on the train into the City for the day. I squeezed into her apartment for a while, and we took the bus. A guy sitting across the aisle gave me a portrait he had sketched of me before getting off at Rockefeller Center. The rest of the day was spent at the Met, which seemed to have more riches than the Federal Reserve. I saw knightly armor, Tiffany glass, and clothing worn by European aristocracy. Most perplexing fact learned: panties are a pretty modern fashion staple.
Of course, as far as fashion goes the Met Gala is the place to be. It's tough to be glamourous with a physique as weird as mine, and I've always wanted a gown to be custom-made so as to actually fit. I bet an up-and-coming designer would be willing to help out with that if they knew their creation would be seen by the world's elite at the Gala. Problem: the cheapest ticket is $5k. If only I could glue that shredded money back together...
My dad is from Long Island, and his sister still lives in the City. When I was little, I remember seeing the Rockettes and Christmas window displays. We also got to go on a special tour of the Federal Reserve, in which I sat at a Board Room table, got to go into the vault and hold a gold bar, and was given a package of thousands of dollars in shredded money. It was awesome!
When I was in college, my aunt took me on the train into the City for the day. I squeezed into her apartment for a while, and we took the bus. A guy sitting across the aisle gave me a portrait he had sketched of me before getting off at Rockefeller Center. The rest of the day was spent at the Met, which seemed to have more riches than the Federal Reserve. I saw knightly armor, Tiffany glass, and clothing worn by European aristocracy. Most perplexing fact learned: panties are a pretty modern fashion staple.
Of course, as far as fashion goes the Met Gala is the place to be. It's tough to be glamourous with a physique as weird as mine, and I've always wanted a gown to be custom-made so as to actually fit. I bet an up-and-coming designer would be willing to help out with that if they knew their creation would be seen by the world's elite at the Gala. Problem: the cheapest ticket is $5k. If only I could glue that shredded money back together...
Monday, May 21, 2012
Be the Next Bachelorette
Casting Director for The Bachelorette, will you accept this rose? Let's look for love together. I want to be the next Bachelorette!
Come on, it will be ratings gold. As much as I really like Ali and Emily, I don't think the "average" woman can relate. Of course guys are going to fall for gorgeous blondes. And how could you not fall in love canoeing through waterfalls and exploring castles?
My season will be different. First, the bombshell will not be me, but the fact that the Bachelorette is in a wheelchair. Yes, those awkward introductions can get even more awkward. Some of the guys might just walk off the show. Perhaps others will stay on to gain publicity, but say mean stuff about me during their individual interviews. But can you imagine how the audience would react if the girl in the wheelchair got Bentley-ed? They'd rally.
Of course, the dates wouldn't be as exciting. No jumping out of helicopters for me. We'd play Uno and Ticket to Ride. If they gave me nerds, I suppose we could crack open Catan. I would like to travel as they do on the show, but instead of exotic beaches, we'd need to go to metropolitan destinations. Athens would be awesome. Since hosting the Paralympics, I hear that area of Greece is now super-accessible. Toward the end, I guess I could assent to the beach; the guys just need time to prove I wouldn't get dropped.
Because of the circumstances, though, I feel like if I did find love on the show that it would last. It would be real. We'd have to engage in activities like problem-solving, and there would be no way (at least for me) to hide my faults. People who watch could relate, or even think I'm worse-off then they are. And so when I found love, it would give a message of hope rather than fantasy. Prove true love is real. That's something I'd be okay with being the poster child for...
Come on, it will be ratings gold. As much as I really like Ali and Emily, I don't think the "average" woman can relate. Of course guys are going to fall for gorgeous blondes. And how could you not fall in love canoeing through waterfalls and exploring castles?
My season will be different. First, the bombshell will not be me, but the fact that the Bachelorette is in a wheelchair. Yes, those awkward introductions can get even more awkward. Some of the guys might just walk off the show. Perhaps others will stay on to gain publicity, but say mean stuff about me during their individual interviews. But can you imagine how the audience would react if the girl in the wheelchair got Bentley-ed? They'd rally.
Of course, the dates wouldn't be as exciting. No jumping out of helicopters for me. We'd play Uno and Ticket to Ride. If they gave me nerds, I suppose we could crack open Catan. I would like to travel as they do on the show, but instead of exotic beaches, we'd need to go to metropolitan destinations. Athens would be awesome. Since hosting the Paralympics, I hear that area of Greece is now super-accessible. Toward the end, I guess I could assent to the beach; the guys just need time to prove I wouldn't get dropped.
Because of the circumstances, though, I feel like if I did find love on the show that it would last. It would be real. We'd have to engage in activities like problem-solving, and there would be no way (at least for me) to hide my faults. People who watch could relate, or even think I'm worse-off then they are. And so when I found love, it would give a message of hope rather than fantasy. Prove true love is real. That's something I'd be okay with being the poster child for...
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Guest Star on Grey's or Private Practice
I want to be on an episode of Grey's Anatomy or Private Practice. I used to make faces in the mirror when I was little, preparing early for my acting debut. Unfortunately, there are not many roles for those with my type of mutation. (Had I been a turtle, I may have had more luck.) Most of the time, people with authentic physical disabilities are not chosen for the stage or screen.
Private Practice, however, did feature Michael Patrick Thornton (as Dr. Gabriel Fife), a paraplegic. The ethical dilemmas he was involved in were unique, and I was bummed when his character left. Having a Master's in bioethics, myself, I would love to see more people with disabilities involved in showcasing very real and relevant issues they face. (Call me, Shonda Rhimes!)
I want to be a girl with SMA (duh) who approaches a doctor about assisted suicide or is in the hospital for trying herself. She's not in danger of death anytime soon, but does require total assistance with care. The care she has been receiving is terrible, and there is no immediate alternative. Her rationality and intellect will win over a doctor, who finds her eerily reasonable. Other doctors recognize the situation as immoral. They will send in social workers to try and find the patient supports needed to live happily -- housing, employment, consistent care -- but will fail.
Hopefully, Shonda wouldn't kill my character off. If I was a good enough actress, perhaps the doctor who wanted to help would see me as a love interest. (While both Karev and Avery seem to be single at the moment, I really like Hunt.) As my character began to feel better, I would hate the doctor for actually wanting to kill me. Or, I could just degenerate and he could go as crazy watching me suffer from a disorder he could do nothing about. That's a recurring theme.
Anyway, I'd like to get it out there that many people who seek assisted suicide just need better social supports. And that people with real disabilities can make for compelling TV. And put my ethical and face-making expertise to good use! ;-)
Private Practice, however, did feature Michael Patrick Thornton (as Dr. Gabriel Fife), a paraplegic. The ethical dilemmas he was involved in were unique, and I was bummed when his character left. Having a Master's in bioethics, myself, I would love to see more people with disabilities involved in showcasing very real and relevant issues they face. (Call me, Shonda Rhimes!)
I want to be a girl with SMA (duh) who approaches a doctor about assisted suicide or is in the hospital for trying herself. She's not in danger of death anytime soon, but does require total assistance with care. The care she has been receiving is terrible, and there is no immediate alternative. Her rationality and intellect will win over a doctor, who finds her eerily reasonable. Other doctors recognize the situation as immoral. They will send in social workers to try and find the patient supports needed to live happily -- housing, employment, consistent care -- but will fail.
Hopefully, Shonda wouldn't kill my character off. If I was a good enough actress, perhaps the doctor who wanted to help would see me as a love interest. (While both Karev and Avery seem to be single at the moment, I really like Hunt.) As my character began to feel better, I would hate the doctor for actually wanting to kill me. Or, I could just degenerate and he could go as crazy watching me suffer from a disorder he could do nothing about. That's a recurring theme.
Anyway, I'd like to get it out there that many people who seek assisted suicide just need better social supports. And that people with real disabilities can make for compelling TV. And put my ethical and face-making expertise to good use! ;-)
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Take a Piggyback Ride on a Basketball Player
Yeah, I know this one is totally out-of-the-box, but that's what this blog is about. Hear me out...
I used to enjoy watching the Pacers. Remember, I'm from Indiana, and I was a kid before the rise of Peyton Manning and the debacle that was (is?) Ron Artest. Basketball was still a way of life here. Make-A-Wish even invited me to meet the Pacers one night. It was pretty cool. Isaiah Thomas promised to vote for me if I even run for political office. I delivered a love letter to Sam Perkins from one of my teachers. Reggie Miller bent down to talk to me, and in so doing stuck his butt directly in the face of my friend. (The mascot kept wiggling his own butt at my friend the rest of the night.)
Anyway, the Pacers are finally doing well again! And my sister is a huge fan of the Oklahoma City Thunder. As such, we've been watching a lot of basketball. The other day, we watched the Thunder cream the Mavericks, and Jason Kidd looked diminutive next to Backpack (Kevin Durant), Mohawk (James Harden), and Booty Tooch (Derek Fisher). I decided then that it would be awesome to be as tall as or taller than a basketball player. Hence, taking a piggyback ride on a basketball player.
Besides, I'm sick of a wheelchair being my only mode of transport.
I used to enjoy watching the Pacers. Remember, I'm from Indiana, and I was a kid before the rise of Peyton Manning and the debacle that was (is?) Ron Artest. Basketball was still a way of life here. Make-A-Wish even invited me to meet the Pacers one night. It was pretty cool. Isaiah Thomas promised to vote for me if I even run for political office. I delivered a love letter to Sam Perkins from one of my teachers. Reggie Miller bent down to talk to me, and in so doing stuck his butt directly in the face of my friend. (The mascot kept wiggling his own butt at my friend the rest of the night.)
Anyway, the Pacers are finally doing well again! And my sister is a huge fan of the Oklahoma City Thunder. As such, we've been watching a lot of basketball. The other day, we watched the Thunder cream the Mavericks, and Jason Kidd looked diminutive next to Backpack (Kevin Durant), Mohawk (James Harden), and Booty Tooch (Derek Fisher). I decided then that it would be awesome to be as tall as or taller than a basketball player. Hence, taking a piggyback ride on a basketball player.
Besides, I'm sick of a wheelchair being my only mode of transport.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Put the Coke in the Crown with Kenny Chesney
I want to go to a party and put the Coke in the Crown with Kenny Chesney. Yes, my sitting at home all day includes watching music videos on CMT. And, yes, I would like to "Feel Like a Rock Star."
Despite growing up in Indiana, I used to avoid country music; I thought it was all about two-steps and two-timing lovers. However, when I saw Trace Adkins and John Rich on Celebrity Apprentice, I realized country singers were a lot of fun. Last summer I won tickets to a Kenny Chesney concert, and I found myself having a blast.
Quite the opposite of my original suspicions, country music celebrates good times. It extols the joy found in simple pleasures, reveres the important stuff like love and honor, and entertains while doing so. I can't think of many places I would rather live than within a country song.
Hence, the first entry on my bucket list. I want to thank Kenny Chesney for introducing me to the awesomeness of "Summertime" and have a helluva time doin' it. Party time!
Despite growing up in Indiana, I used to avoid country music; I thought it was all about two-steps and two-timing lovers. However, when I saw Trace Adkins and John Rich on Celebrity Apprentice, I realized country singers were a lot of fun. Last summer I won tickets to a Kenny Chesney concert, and I found myself having a blast.
Quite the opposite of my original suspicions, country music celebrates good times. It extols the joy found in simple pleasures, reveres the important stuff like love and honor, and entertains while doing so. I can't think of many places I would rather live than within a country song.
Hence, the first entry on my bucket list. I want to thank Kenny Chesney for introducing me to the awesomeness of "Summertime" and have a helluva time doin' it. Party time!
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